do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
