How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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