we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
