Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
