So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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