nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she looked like the before picture.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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