Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have fence marks all over my body
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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