You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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