I'm jealous of your bromance
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
