when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
