so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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