I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
