You just made me feel so damn special
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
