Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
