I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I look better un-naked...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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