OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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