writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
