You're my little dorito
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
