There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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