Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
