this beer tastes like vomit already
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I currently don't understand fingers.
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