Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
