oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Is Oprah even human
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
