If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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