just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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