she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
