...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
