okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
