Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
