And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
