grandma shit on top of the toilet
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
