Sry I called you an 8
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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