walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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