You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
