Will you blow on my dice?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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