Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize