Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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