Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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