how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
