Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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