I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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