Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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