just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
