I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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