Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
