I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
