Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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