I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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