we made out on top of his cat.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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