Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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