He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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