NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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