that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
