Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
