i may or may not be watching the land before time
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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