we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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